Which would you prefer?

And will you tell all your friends
You've got your gun to my head?
This all was only wishful thinkin',
This all was only wishful thinkin'
And will you tell all your friends
You've got your gun to my head?
This all was only wishful thinkin',
This all was only wishful thinkin'
Let's go...
Don't bother trying to explain angel
I know exactly what goes on when you're on, and
How about I'm outside of your window?
Well how about I'm outside of your window?
Watchin' him keep the details covered?
You're such a sucker for a sweet talker, yeah
Such a sucker...
And will you tell all your friends
You've got your gun to my head?
This all was only wishful thinkin',
This all was only wishful thinkin'
(The only thing I'll regret is that I...)
And will you tell all your friends
You've got your gun to my head?
(...I never let you hold me back)
This all was only wishful thinkin',
This all was only wishful thinkin'
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you'll never love me
Why can't I feel anything from anyone other than you?
And all of this was all your fault
And all of this...
It makes things worse
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
For this simple reason I
Just need to keep you in mind
As something larger than life
She'll destroy us all before she's through

I'm ready to be done with this. It's alright. It's whatever. I can be alone, I've been alone for nineteen years, it's not a big deal. And when I say that I mean it's really not a big deal, it's not like I'm saying it's not but it really is.

Yesterday was good. Even the bad parts were alright.

Church was nice, I actually listened to the sermon because it was completely relevant to my life. Somehow whenever I'm going through something really bad, there is always something in church that relates exactly to how I feel. It's really weird, I can never figure out if it's just coincidence or what. But I like it.

Then, I spent the day with Annabelle making hot dog jellyfish that were better in concept than in execution, but they were fun, and we just sat on Zack's bed tumblin' and talkin' and she gave me a pedicure and I serenaded her we listened to Fall Out Boy and Taking Back Sunday and it was really chill and I liked it.

And youth was really nice and normal. I ate coleslaw and brownies, and we won the game that we played, and that boy wore a really soft shirt which was extra nice to hug.

It was just that simple. A day without stress.

And I just woke up to an inspiring quote from Skye, and a random I love you text from Julian. It's things like that that make me happy that I have such beautiful wonderful people in my life.