I don't care, so gouge my eyes.

I'll never see again.

and every time things look like they might be alright for awhile.

Something happens.

And everything comes crumbling down.

And you cry your eyes out because you are reminded of how much you hate yourself. And you're going to die alone.

And you can't do anything right.

And some tiny tiny tiny part of you just kind of wants to end it all because you don't know what you're living for.

Overdramatic, maybe.

But I'm going nowhere.

Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere.

And I can't find any way out.

And it's obvious that I'm just really really lonely. Even in a room full of people. Because I know that they might consider me their friend, but none of them really really care about me.

They don't care about me more than anyone else.

No one does.

I just want to be a first priority. For someone.

But that's only wishful thinking.

I wouldn't waste time on me either.

And I look at other photographers' work. And it's good. Better than mine.

I will never be outstanding at anything.

I don't know why I should even try.

I don't have anyone or anything, so why bother?

Yeah, I'm really selfish, and jealous, and sad.

I know what I want but there is no possible way for me to get it, so I just sulk.

And all I want to do is to go out with a bunch of people and do the thing that makes me forget how sad I am for just a little while. Something that makes me feel invincible. And I know that it just disappoints people, but I figure they probably don't really care that much deep down anyway.

So I'll keep being self destructive. And when the opportunity arises, I'll always take it because I am weak and sad and I don't know anything else.