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I'm just sitting here in my bed, procrastinating to the point that I can't procrastinate any more. I have three hours worth of microbiology homework to do and we have a huge exam tomorrow. I'm only estimating getting maybe four hours of sleep tonight. I hate that. I love sleeping, and I love dreaming. Honestly, I sleep away the days that I don't work or go to school because there is nothing better for me to do. I hate being awake because something always goes wrong. Most of my days are bad days. There is nothing for me to look forward to anymore, so I just sleep and sleep. I don't even have good dreams though, really. I only have nightmares.

The last dream that I remember vividly was a couple of weeks ago. I was trying to impress some guy or something, so I was getting all dressed up and doing my makeup or something, but then I started getting these disgusting skin growths all over my body, and they were bursting and liquid was coming out of them. I was so horrified, and I went crying to my mom, and she just started screaming at me about how I was fake, and how I shouldn't be trying to impress people and asking "You call yourself a Christian?" over and over. I woke up in tears.

I had a pretty bad day at work today. My drawer was 24 dollars short, and I had to do EVERYTHING because the kid who worked with me today is lazy and doesn't care about his job.

"I can see the words inside your silence, but I can't speak about your pain for you
How long can you burn for anyways
Turning over and back again with tongues ablaze like lions without teeth, hungry
Staring at the forests of flames and our eyes just talking with the trees
If we could drift long enough we'll be home
Sails blown by the fire within pushing me to you
And you can live inside of me, sewn together
Breaking, inhaling, growing and breaking again and again
And you are a part of me
You are my home and I'm your home but I'm no place you want to be
So I'm out here again, sparks hid behind my teeth
I won't say a word for fear of failure spreading
It takes some of us longer to get to our dead-ends now
Oh blood-stained with loose living
Ran through charcoal hearts to make it red
And we can be on fire again, you and I, you want this?
Well say what you want, say what you mean
Or we can talk, lung to closed ear
Head inside a hand turning over again, together
Cut up with cheap heat running through our veins
And we can lay brick by broken brick, our ashes pushed in between
And build this road back home to where we wanna be
We are not on our own, we are the same"