Stupid.

I absolutely disgust myself sometimes. I feel like the most hideous person in the world sometimes. I don't understand why I can't just stick with it, why I can't go to the gym constantly enough to work, and why every time I'm bored I feel like heading for the kitchen. I feel like my life would be a thousand times better if I was just about fifty pounds lighter. At least. I wish it wasn't twelve at night, I'd drive to the gym and run a million miles. Why can't I be motivated when I need to be? Why the heck couldn't I have been born with some super fast metabolism or something. Or even a regular speed one.
Sometimes I hate that every single one of my friends is freakin' gorgeous. It really does a number on my self esteem.
I feel like a complainy little emo annoying girl. But I can't really help it. I feel awful.
I wish it was winter, then I could go jogging and whatnot arround my neighborhood.

I'm really really starting to like this kid and it's making me feel retarded, because I'm not good enough for him, and I never will beee. But he's so nicee and funnyyy and sillyyy and outgoinngggg and we have so much in common and he's freakin' adorable and he has amazing taste in musicccc, and he gives me a lot of attention, and I LOVE ATTENTION, which he gives most people alot of attention, but it does't change the fact that it feels nice. These qualities are probably why prettier girls like him, and why this will never ever happen.
Ugly girls can't have feelings for people. It's just not right.