Goodnight Summer.

This has been the most amazing summer of my life. I made a ton of new friends, got closer with old friends, and got closer to God. Between after youth sleepovers, two camps, movie nights, ice cream days, beach days, going to the movies with stevi, Scars for Stories concerts, middle school youth events, other random fun days, and a few lazy days to recoup, there was hardly a dull moment. I got to know a lot of amazing people alot better, like Lindsey Lyall, the Adkins, Hannah Bear, and Dustin Schlosser; I got to reconnect with Sherilyn Hunter and Julie Wright; and even though we had a couple of rough patches, I love my best friend more than ever! My church fell apart, but a new one is "rising from its ashes", and even though we don't have youth group right now, we are trying our hardest to keep hanging out, and to stay a close knit group of God loving people, so that when the new Youth Group gets up and going we can be stronger than ever! I took up guitar again this summer, rediscovered my love of singing, and painted what I think is some of my best work so far! I've been blessed in too many ways to count this summer, and I have a feeling that this school year is going to be just as good, no matter how anxious and scared I am of growing up.

.

nah.

well did you know that I like horses.....

I feel like DEATH. I'm not even exaggerating. I can't remember feeling this bad in a long time, and it just keeps getting worse and worse. One minute I'll be fine, the next I'll be coughing up a lung.

Haha today was the first day of school for the First Academy kids, so Hannah Jordan and I baked them cupcakes and brought them to them :) it was really funnnn. Then we hung out untillll we picked up skye from school, then me and skye stalked the First Academy Football Practice. It was such a fun day :D even though I was feeling pretty crappy for most of it....

I feel really underhanded and backstabbish for liking the same guy as one of my friends. Pahah oh well nothing I can do about it. Not like it'll happen anyway ;) one of the plus sides to being unappealing.....................

Please, don't.

Ugh you say things like "you look cute" and I lol and you reply "you think I'm kidding?" and it makes it harder for me to not like you. When you kid around and say things like "I don't want a relationship right now, but I want one with you", or you say things along the lines of "we were made for eachother", or you grab my hand and say some cheesy pickup line, I can't stop my imagination running away with it and twisting it into something that isn't there. It's not like you're leading me on or anything, I know that it's basically never going to happen, and I know when you're kidding, but I let my heart get the best of me sometimes, I'm sorry.
You know, I usually hate when people fish for compliments, but when you do it, it's kind of cute/sad.
You give me attention and I love it. But I hate it at the same time because I feel like I'm an AW around you.
I really hope you never find yourself reading this, because you'll probably know it's you and I'll get embarrassed because of my girly feelings that I can help, and I really really really don't want you to change the way you act around me, that would be terrible!!!

how could you be so heartlessssssss

Today was strange. Good strange, but strange. I don't even know how to explain.
It was all not strange, untilllll Nick had to go and say something that I didn't understand, that came waaaay out of left field, and my overreactive imagination just went to work on it. Then Erin wasn't helping with all of her "what if"s. Then Dustin with is "AA operation" nonsense. I just act stupid to it so I don't have to deal with it. I mean, I feel butterflies, but I don't know how to deal with them.
I just don't want to get my hopes up for them to just come crashing down.
I'm sorry, I write all cryptic-like just in case.