The smell from HADES/Career choices.

O how I hate you, Mildew. For the past week or so, my car has REEKED to high heavens. Seriously, it smelled like spoiled milk, rotting vomit, and decaying human carcass all in one. I have been wondering for a week what on earth that smell could be, and today my mom inspected my car and found the culprit: Something is leaking, and the two solid weeks of rain have been festering in the back of my car. Gross. In addition to being incredibly disgusting, the mildew also ruined two harry potter books (volume four and five), eclipse, and a comic book, while kindly leaving an old Latin text book in tact. Goooo figure. Oh well, I'm wet-dry vac-ing it tomorrow, and I bought a delicious "Paradise Fruit" flavored air wick car freshener to tide me over. But really, four dollars for an air freshener? It BETTER work, that's all I can say.

Soooo, I've been wavering on the subject of what I want to do for a living. I know I've always been a fReAkKkK about going to art school or doing SOMETHING artistic, but sometimes I just don't WANT to. You know? when you sit down to draw something, and nothing comes out. I don't know if I want to deal with all of that constant uncertainty. Oh, and I don't want to work as a waitress for the rest of my life either..... I've always thought that art was the only thing I could ever do. It's the only thing I've ever LIKED, and it's the only thing that I've really demonstrated a natural talent for (not to toot my own horn ;)). But you know, lately I've been thinking, and there is one other thing I could see myself doing. It seems a little odd, but I think that I might really like to go into youth ministry. You know, being a youth pastor.... like Mario. It really doesn't seem like a woman's job, but that was what Jenny was before she moved here, and I've researched it and found that there is actually a LOT of female youth pastors. But, also, the question is raised: am I holy enough? I mean, I freaking love Jesus with all of my heart, but I've done things I regret, you know? I love kids, and I LOVE being a middle school youth leader, I love to help people, I love to talk in front of groups, I love to listen to people, and I'm a hXc christian. So, I mean, what else do you need? I'm just really torn on the subject. I've written up multiple pro/con sheets, Art vs. Ministry, but I still don't want to make the wrong choice. I decided that my mission this summer is to do hardcore research, and figure out what course I want to take. I'm just so freaking lostttt. Eh, I'll keep praying about it :)