I haven't posted anything in ages, but tumblr and facebook are way too public to write about my feelings, and for some reason blogging has always given me some kind of relief or gratification.

Anyway, a couple of days ago, my friend messaged me and told me that this guy from his work "had the hots for me", and that he said he was "extremely attracted" to me. Okay, no big deal for most people, but I just need to say that 1) this is literally the first time that any guy has showed any interest in me whatsoever since the 9th grade and 2) I have been mad crushing on this guy for months. I think I even wrote something about him on here a while ago. So yeah, that's a good thing, but I can't get it off my mind. Like, if I'm honest with myself it will probably go absolutely nowhere, and we'll just keep flirting every time I go in there. But then, the crazy teenage girl part of me lets my mind go in a thousand different directions and think of every single scenario that could ever happen. And I start thinking that there has GOT to be something wrong with this guy if he's attracted to me. Like, he doesn't even know me and I'm not exactly a 10, and he's really cute. Like, more than me just saying that, he's a good looking guy. So what if he has some weird social disorder or is a total dick or something, or what if he listens to rap and fucks bitches and gets money. Like, HONESTLY why would anyone be attracted to me unless I was their last resort? That's all I can think of right now and it kind of freaks me out.

I don't know.