c'mon pidge.

There is no way I am going to finish the The Great Gatsby, so I've given up. I'm going to fail the test tomorrow, I know it. Okay, maybe not fail. The only thing that's going to save me is that I listen during class, thank god for that. I think I've got all of the important things down, I just need to rack my brain when we start the test. I'm amazingly tired today, and I just don't know why, really. Stevi, Erick, and I were at Barnes and Noble, and I seriously thought I was going to fall asleep a couple of times. Seriously.  BUT, I did get my book for Ms.

Cameron. I decided to ditch the whole Chuck Palahniuk idea all together. I love his books eternally, don't get me wrong, I just wanted to read something fresh. It's called Ella Minnow Pea, by Mark Dunn. I'll let you know if it's any good.

I hate losing things. I had lost my wallet, and it was really irritating me, and my mom was freaking out because I've been driving without my liscense. Not like I ever get pulled over. Oh wait, I do. 

Everyone at school thinks that not washing my hair is gross, but I don't really care. When have I ever really cared?

My super decreased sugar diet is going well still, four days in. It's like a record for me, seriously. It feels weird though, not being full of delicious sugars all the time. I feel kind of like my stomach is eating itsself, it feels awful, but kind of good at the same time.

Spray paint and other art stuff.

keep it steady now...

So, just for the record, I'm allowed to eat only one sugary food or drink per day, I think I forgot to mention that. Still going strong by the way, and day two of super fun Wellness Center Workout was a success.

Gahhh, I don't know why I'm so freaking cranky lately. Seriously, I pretty much snapped on Kara today. It's really just her that gets the heat, actually. She just provokes it, you know? Not like she means to, she's always like that, it's just her personality, and I'm fine with that, usually. But now is not usually, my nerves are thinner than ever, and the slightest things grate on my nerves. Me and Mary Cate were kidding about it, saying it's my lack of sugar; it's the sugar that makes me so sweet usually ;)

I made my first spraypaint print with my stencil in Ms. Padilla's class today. LOOKS FREAKING SWEET! I gotta remember to bring my camera tomorrow, to take some picturessss. 

I would have more things to say, but I don't know how personal these things should be, so I'll keep it to myself.

Oh, and I'm not washing my hair anymore. I hear that after the first month or two of greasy, your natural oils even out and you get beautiful soft hair, and it's less of a hassle, so I'm up for it. And don't you dare say that it's gross, because honestly, if you use shampoo and conditioner, all you're really doing is taking all the oils out and putting them back in. What a waste of moneyyyy, hahaha. 

Some Sketchbook fun and the usual.

So, I say how much I love art all the time, and how much I want to go to art school, and I realized that I have nothing to show for it. So, I decided it was time to force some of my stuff on you. However, I havn't completed a piece for a whilllle, so I settled for some sketches that I do in classes, namely american history. Haha. 

Some more:

They look alot better if you click on them ;)

andthe bottom is a bunch of semi blind contour drawings, in case you were wondering why that kid's head is so potato-chip-like, and why my hand looks like it has elephantitus.

So, all artistic vanity aside...

Today was aite, I guess. I'm getting really irritated at certain nameless people lately, and for no real reason. I'm just pretty irate in general right now, I guess. I failed my first American History test, so I guess I'd better stop drawing, and start listening a little bit. As if. I made my stencil for art class, and friday we get to SPRAY PAINTTTT. Yeah, I'm basically super excited. I said that I felt like a cool kid, but Ms. Padilla said I'm only a cool kid if I spray paint on walls D: how unfortunate. I went to the gymmmm today, and saw Heather and Zack there, and I loled. Usually theres just old people there. Gross. Also, day two of the sugar drought is going dandy (: I'm saving my one-sugar-a-day for girl's bible study tonight, and hopefully it will not be in vain. Whoo whoo, we get to choose our AMERICAN NOVEL for Cameroooon's class! I can't decide between Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk or I am Legend. Choices, choices.

I need a

job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job.

because seriously, where am I supposed to come up with 600 or so dollars before summer? Nowhere. Because I don't have a job. No one seems to ever be hiring, and I don't have any sort of "inside connections". I'm pretty stressed over it, actually. I'd even be willing to handle meats, do you know how serious that is for me?

So far I have applied at: TJ maxx, Payless, CiCis, Kohls, and Cracker Barrel. 

That is not a very impressive list, and none of them look promising, but I just can't find anythinggggggggggg. Feel free to guide me with your splendid ideas and all, god knows i need it.

Oh, and news from the sugar front; Day one has gone without a hitch so far. I had my daily simple carb (pringlesssssss) on the way home from school, and my hand got stuck in the tube, and I almost ran into a car LOL. I will steer clear of that from now on... get it.... steer? oh lordy. Now I'm going to go have some riceeeeeeeeee yummmmm. No, seriously, yum (:

And I decided to start working out at the wellness center again, ahahah. I'm going to try to stick with it. Besides, I love doing those little stationary bikes, they give me time to play my NINTENDO DS! ahahah, cooking mama!!!!!!!!!

So seriously, if you know anywhere that's hiring, hit me up.

I digress.

just warning you ahead of time...

I like to post a lot of blogs, some more pointless than others. 

Youth was aright. There have been better nights, but there have been much, much worse. I'm so sick of all of the nonsense going on with all of these couples, could be couples, would be couples, etc. It just doesn't seem worth it to me, I wish everyone could just be happy for once, instead of being crazy jealous weirdos. Not like I can't be a crazy jealous weirdo at times, but it seems like every week theres a new drama or SOMETHING. Eh. Maybe I'm just a bit envious, because I NEVER have drama. My life is so chill, it's boring.  I just need a crazy Degrassi moment to slap me in the face every once in a while. That would be nice.

I guess I'm going to try to cut alot of the sugar out of my diet. My mom suggested it, but it's harder than it sounds. Theres sugar in everything. Everything. But I might as well give it a try, you know, it might work out for me. I just have to get some better WILL POWER. I don't know how it was so easy for me to give up meats, and it's tearin' up my heart to give up sugar. But then again, I'd take ice cream over a pot roast any day. 

Not like any of this really matters or anything.

I really want to find someone new to take to Youth group. It's been FOREVER since I've taken a friend. It's just, I don't want to offend anyone by saying they need jesus, and everyone else is always super busy with their lives. Church is becoming my life. GOD is becoming my life, and that's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Seriously, except for minor annoyances, and crappy dress shopping, I'm the happiest I've ever been.

Look out, charlie. We're really high now.

The weekend was nice, and chilling with stevi is always fun, even though dress shopping was a bust. The only thing that fit me had a broken zipper, of course.  I can't help it, I cry when I get frustrated, I'm sorry. I wish I could have been born as someone else, I don't see how people can stand me sometimes, I swear. Bah, I'm just feeling pretty down on myself right now is all, I suppose. 

I just want it to be 6:00, time for youth. That will cheer me up, hopefuly. Maybe. 

I really should work on my self esteem. Ha.

experimenting with flash, and some pictures of cats.

A little while ago, I got super obsessed with Lomography, and, along with a few other things, bought a colorsplash flash. I never reay used it handheld, so I decided to play arround with it for a bit. Here were the results:

 

 

 

I also decided to go out and take a few macro shots of my cats. They came out alright, but it's not exactly my best work. Oh well, thats what I get from staying away from my camera for so longgggg. Here is the best one:

my feelings toward LHS "photographers".

I do not have a thousand dollars. I have never had a thousand dollars, because I do not have a job. If I did have a thousand dollars, I would probably not be allowed to buy a fancy new camera right on the spot. This does not make you better than me. My lack of funds and equipment forces me to use my 20 year old film camera, which I love. I take better pictures on film than you ever have on any fancy DSLR camera. Film is tricky; more tricky than I imagined at first; and you don't get to use photoshop, that would kill you, wouldn't it? I have not taken worthy photos in awhile, this is because I have become discouraged, but that's going to change. I will show up your fancy new DSLR camera with my 20 year old film camera, and my 300 dollar digital camera. You will see.